Yes, you read that right. While you're dealing with the aftermath of Valentine's Day - which I hope was a good one for you - you should remember to show your love to your country by making sure it doesn't run out of dough.

I've lost track of the number of sneering ninnies who think Income Tax is unconstitutional. I've seen their arguments, and the ones that make sense seem to be sensible, at least when they're not dripping with froth. So hey, maybe Income Tax is unconstitutional after all.

But guess what - that's irrelevant: in fact, it ought to be constitutional.

Maybe our Founding Fathers did not intend for there to be an Income Tax, but I don't think they'd have ever foreseen a day when the Federal Government required not millions, nor billions, but trillions of dollars to operate. Even without some of the more egregious pork to be found in any budget, you're still needing at least billions of dollars to maintain the whole thing.

What does that money buy us? Protection. Defense. Security. Stability. Infrastructure. Oversight. It buys us things either we cannot do, don't want to have to do, or just flat out won't do. Our freedom may be a God(dess)-given right, but its application within society needs to be maintained, and that maintenance needs cash.

And I don't think taxing tobacco and placing tariffs on trade between the states is going to pony up the dough, anymore.

Of course, some of you might be really grinding your teeth at these notions. Fortunately, for those who want to have their cake and eat it too, I have some options you could try:

1. Live and work abroad: Courtesy of Form 2555, up to $76,000 of foreign-earned income is exempt from taxation. It's twice the paperwork, but if you're a double-income no kid sort of couple, or don't mind living somewhere that the cost of living is low, but so are the standards, it's quite a boost.

Of course, the major problem with this is that you can't be in America most of the year. You might wind up being somewhere that doesn't have the same sort of freedoms and protections that America does. Travel costs are a bitch, sometimes. Oh, and there's always the worry that the USA might decide your host country is suddenly part of that icky "Axis of Evil," or much too close to it for comfort, especially if you put down stakes in the Middle East.

2. Refuse to Pay Your Taxes: You could take a page from your favorite "commie," Martin Luther King, and passively resist the IRS. This will mean that you'll go to jail, of course, but you'll finally be showing that you have the courage of your convictions. This may be of some comfort while dealing with your "roommate" (You know, the one arrested for biting the heads off live pit bulls...?)

But hey, if more and more people do it, then you'll succeed. After all, the government might be able to just make new prisons to hold you all, but sooner or later they'll run out of money to do it. Unless, of course, they keep deficit spending... or just decide to make failure to pay Income Tax a form of treason and have the lot of you shot.

3. Get the Hell Out: A phrase I'm sure sounds familiar, as you anti-taxers are often wont to use it to "liberals" you don't like. If paying taxes in America is too high a price to pay for freedom, then you can try to become a permanent citizen of another country that doesn't ask the same, or as much.

Of course, such countries tend to suffer from a noticeable lack of protection, defense, security, stability, infrastructure and oversight, not to mention freedom. But hey, no taxes! That's worth it... right?

4. Head to the Hills: Go find someplace in Montana, build a cabin, and learn to relish the subtle taste of gophers and chipmunks. Come back into town for supplies only when absolutely necessary, and stare at everyone for far, far too long. Then, one sunny say, croak at the typewriter with your manifesto half-finished, and know ignominy as the gophers and chipmunks discover the subtle taste of you.

Personally, I think the last option would be the most fitting for most of the anti-Income Tax crowd. Most of them are just selfish brats who don't want to grow up and learn to share. They say they love their country, but it's the sort of love one doles out on a part-time lover: bring some flowers and wine, jump into the sack after dinner, and leave before someone says "I love you."

They don't want to have to give too much, but expect to receive everything they ask for in return. Needless to say, these people are living in moo-moo land.

That's not to say that we, as citizens, should not be very critical of wasteful and needless expenses. Nor does it mean that every tax is ethical or correct; doing away with the Estate Tax would be a good place to start, and that's one of the reasons I voted for Dubya in the first place. And it certainly doesn't mean that the more ridiculous maneuvers the IRS uses to collect its cash are right, or should be meekly accepted by the taxpayers.

But on the whole, the Income Tax - however disliked - is a good thing. It may be a bitter pill to swallow, but it maintains our standard of living and keeps us one of the most prosperous nations on Earth. It could do with some fine-tuning and fixing, and the government itself could do with some belt-tightening as well, but getting rid of it would be tossing the baby out with the bathwater.

If you want to stay here - you can get away - if you want to stay here - you'll just have to pay

If - Two